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[video]
(Source: shejla11, via instagrampa)
OH GOD I’VE BEEN SCREAMING OLD PARAMORE SONGS IN MY BEDROOM BECAUSE MY MOM WENT OUT TO BUY PRINTER CARTRIDGES BUT I FORGOT THERE WAS A DUDE HERE FIXING OUR PLUMBING SYSTEM AND I THOUGHT HE LEFT BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG BECAUSE HE JUST CAME INTO MY ROOM AND WAS LIKE “SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT I CAN’T FIND THE BATHROOM” AND I HAVE DIED 3000 DEATHS FROM EMBARRASSMENT GOODBYE
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SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
(via libellaswing)
no youre
(via oxykittens)
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
(via idiotshitbaby)
Hey so if we have a mutual follow goin on, feel free to ask for my
- cellular number
- snapchat
- skype
- facetime
- first born
you know, anything you want
(Source: jo--harvelle, via williams95)
Tony: “Jarvis, how are we?”
Jarvis: “It’s totally fine, sir. I seem to do quite well for a stretch and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.”
(via fuckyealee)
does anyone else think that the borders of Idaho and Montana kind of look like faces
(via rockompreg)
it feels like someone…..
WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING
(via motherfuckingbaggingarea)
(via rockompreg)
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
(via flyinginafriendshipship)
